If you can’t tell I am always up for an excuse to celebrate. I’m a sucker for a holiday. No matter how small or large. I love the idea of celebrating a laid-back hammock kind of day, but I’m not sure if I would actually enjoy it. I think I have only been in a hammock once ever and I don’t remember how relaxing it was. I do remember almost falling out. But I do like the idea of celebrating a day of relaxing. I wonder how often we allow ourselves to truly relax and then truly enjoy the moment of it. I hope you are able to take a moment for yourself to be yourself. I would love to know what you do to relax!
Have I introduced our family cat? Meet Precious. A fitting name chosen by my son 10 years ago when we rescued her from a shelter. She is a quiet, fluffy, boss in our house. She is an introvert that doesn’t prefer the company of others. The only time I ever hear her make a sound is when she needs something or is on her way to the vet for her annual checkup. Yesterday I heard her protesting loudly. I looked everywhere for her making sure she wasn’t trapped in a bathroom or closet behind a closed door. Imagine my surprise when I found her in the living room seemingly fine. I checked her food and water, which was full as she prefers. And yet she was complaining. At a loss I called in back up…my son. He is the pet guru in our house. Whatever he did worked. Later I wondered if the cat even knew how to meow without sounding distressed because that is the only time she does. Perhaps this is her only “tone”.
Do you have someone in your life like this? Maybe a family member? Maybe someone at work or church? Maybe a parent of your child’s teammate, or someone on a committee with you? It’s always too hot, too cold, too loud, too quiet, too fast, too slow…you get the idea. Raise your hand if someone immediately popped into your mind! It can be exhausting to interact with this person. It can be hard to keep a positive attitude while being bombarded with complaints. I find it especially hard if I am tired or struggling with something.
How do you handle this person? How you do protect your mindset? Nothing is foolproof, but I have a couple of go to practices as a guardrail for my mindset.
When I encounter someone who has a perpetual negative outlook I follow these rules:
- I do not discuss my struggles with this person. This can be hard if this is someone you see daily, or a family member. If you are struggling this person will dramatize the situation and make it seem worse than it is and likely they will not stop talking about it. These are not helpful practices to overcome a struggle. (I will be doing a follow up post on this.)
- I limit my interaction with this person, don’t engage. I always have earbuds handy. I find these a very helpful tool when I am trying to limit my interaction with someone and can be used in most settings (other than church). I do not engage in the conversation. If I must add a comment, I make it brief and non-committal such as “I see.” I walk away as soon as possible. Boundaries are so important, and it is imperative to set and keep them. (I will be doing a follow up post on this.)
- I remind myself I am responsible for my mindset, no one else has authority here. What someone else thinks or says isn’t really my business and is a reflection of them, not me. This takes some repeating for me and isn’t always convincing, but I keep the mantra in my head until I do not feel the threat of negative thoughts seeping into my head space. (I will be doing a follow up post on this.)
This is not to say that I don’t have struggle, conflict, or obstacles in my daily life, who doesn’t. I want to face these with an action mindset to overcome or work through these situations. I cannot do this if I am carrying the negative emotional baggage of someone else. I must protect my head space and mindset if I want to live my life with purpose, joy, and ease. It’s a work in progress that takes daily practice!
If you need help with this visit my event page for the Women’s Day Retreat event I am hosting where we will be working on resetting our mindset so we can define goals and action plans to achieve those goals.
Over the Fourth of July holiday my family took an extended family vacation. Being in Florida it was no surprise we had to weather many storms. On one occasion we were chased in from the boat by dark skies, thunder, and lightening. My first thought was “what a waste of a day”. It takes so much effort to get out on the boat! ALL the logistics of fishing licenses, life jackets, lunch, sunscreen, towels, not to mention all the equipment that is required by the state. So, for the trip to be cut short felt like all that effort for nothing!
When we got back to the hotel room, I fully expected everyone to retreat to their rooms and do their own thing…enter electronics here. I was pleasantly surprised when that didn’t happen. I caught everyone before they could retreat and suggested we play cards, and everyone was game…see what I did there. The games were not sophisticated. We played war, go fish, slap jack, and someone brought Hedbanz. Yep, that’s a real card game. We laughed, we bonded, we spent time side by side playing!
In that moment I had a choice to make. I could let the weather dictate the outcome of the rest of the day or flip the script and find a rainy-day alternative. The original plan wasn’t an option with circumstances out of my control. Even an over planner like myself, can’t plan, predict, or control the weather! I am so grateful I didn’t let my disappointment get in the way of making the most of the day. I also found the silver lining…no one went home with too much sun!
Has this ever happened to you? You made all the plans and did all the prep for a fun family day whether it is a day at the beach, a day at the zoo, a day in the backyard with the sprinklers and bubbles only to be rained out. Or maybe you planned a day for yourself and that fell through. How did you handle it?
Subscribe to my email for 3 ways to re-frame the day.
Rain or Shine I will be at the Riverside Arts Market this Saturday, 7/13/2019.
Come visit my booth! I will have some Prizes and Freebies you don’t want to miss! Hope to see you there.
Happy July 1st! Today marks the halfway point of the year. I find this is a good time to do a quick check in. I throw a wide net when asking myself this question. I am looking at how I feel physically, mentally, emotionally, career, relationships with friends and family, goals I set at the beginning of the year.
When examining these factors, I am gracious with myself and acknowledge I can make small shifts to be where I want to in each category. This is also a good time to make sure where you think you want to be is truly where you want to be. Have things shifted in your life since you last checked in? Take the time now to make sure you are in on the path you want to be. This is your road to travel, make sure it serves you!
If you need help with this visit my event page for the Women’s Day Retreat event I am hosting where we will be working on defining goals and action plans for the remainder of 2019. How can I support you?